Ferdinand stuck in a bucket!

"Ferdinand?"
"Yes!"
"Why have you got a bucket on your head?"
"Because I couldn't find a bandage!"
"Oh, that's made it perfectly clear."
"Then you're lucky."
"What?"
"You're lucky that it's been made clear! Lil can't hear and I can't see."
"Well you would be able to see if you took the bucket off your head!"
"That -oh Dolly- is just it, I can but I won't! You -oh striped one- are lucky you can read this blog...!"
"I'm lucky to read your ramblings?"
... and I'm lucky because I can take this bucket off my head if I want to."

"Are you going to buy me a Christmas card this year?"
"Might be."
"I have got 50p left in my Friskies account after the soiree."
"Oh I see, this is some round a bucket way of saying you're not going to buy me anything!"

"Have you got any money?"
"Oh! now I get it you want a loan."
"No."
"I'm not giving you my money."
"I don't want it! I want you to give 50p..."
"You just said..."



Help to give this baby back his sight If every reader of The Sunday Times Magazine spared 50p this Christmas, half a million children could be saved from going blind, and a million more people could have their sight restored.

There are 37m blind people worldwide, and 75% of this blindness is either preventable or reversible. The Standard Chartered / Seeing is Believing initiative aims to make a difference to the lives of 10m people by 2010. For every £1 given by readers of Times Online and The Sunday Times, Standard Chartered Bank will also give £1, up to a maximum of £2.5m


"Oh I see!"
"See, you're lucky!"

"Ferdinand if I give you 50p or 1 dollar will you be quiet and take the bucket off your head? No, scrub that! Be quiet and leave the bucket on your head and I will give 50p... A good deal, better than any Christmas card!"


Ferdinand stuck in a bucket!

Ferdinand and If

"Morning all."

"Hi Ferd you feeling better?" Susan (female of the household) croons, "ah look at you two, Dolly you kissing Ferdi better?"
"You seen my nail Ferdinand? Broken to the quick." Dolly said waving her paw in my face.

"She's been so worried about you Ferdi."
"You're up then? Well it is Monday morning!" Dolly hissed.
"It is very exhausting being a party planner."
"Bloomin' exhausting! Party planning?" Dolly said as she scratched her ear. "What about all the cleaning?"
"Cleaning? Place is spotless."

"Spotless, spotless!" Scratching.
"You great ginger twit." Scratch, scratch.
"Dolly you got fleas?" Susan asked.
"Yes from Jim the grave yard cat."
"Well you were very close." I proffered by way of explanation.
What, I... you...Electra, I'm ~(*&’# speechless! You ginger. You ginger!..." Scratch, scratch.
And she bopped me on my nose -which is just in recovery from the bite of that bad tempered Micky.
"Dolly! Stop it! You know Ferd isn't well!"
Scratch, scratch.
"Umhh, what you need is some flea spray."

"Come on Doll."
"What? No! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeas eeeeeeeeese, he's a cad, the lazy blighter. Er, no! noooooooooooooooo! Yuk, Yuk."

"Just look at the state of me Ferd."
"Well you certainly will be flealess -friendless too! tee hee!"
And do you know what? She promptly bopped me on the nose again!
"Dolly will you stop hitting Ferdinand? Poor Ferdi, come and have a little cream. I won't spray you today as you're not yourself."

"I don't believe it, I get covered in chemicals he gets cream, I get a broken nail he gets thank you messages. It's not fair! Horrible big ginger rat, yes Ferdinand, I said rat!"

Don't know what's up with Dolly? females eh! God luv em!



IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too,......

......Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a man, my son!

Ferdinand and Rudyard Kipling

Ferdinand ginger cat's email from Richard Madeley

Well what a night!
Fantastic!
Oh yes, what a perfect host I am, and surprisingly we didn't make much mess at all. No, we furry felines lived up to our well deserved reputation for cleanliness. Apart from that little stain on the rug where Lil threw up. A nice saucer of warm milk was left just outside my box... a perfect end to a perfect night.

AND, AND Richard Madeley. Yes! and just to prove it here's his email. Fantastic. I'll have to do it again. I don't know why beings moan about the hardwork -all that clearing up etc, well they're just not naturally fastidious I suppose -we cats are inheritantly spotless - well apart from the leopard- tee hee! Just a little joke there, I'm so lighthearted. Oh dear! ha ha! tee hee!


Oh what a perfect day!

...Oh it's such a perfect day,
I'm glad I spent it with you.
Oh such a perfect day.....

... Just a perfect day,
Problems all left alone,
Weekenders on our own.
It's such fun.
Just a perfect day,
You made me forget myself....

...Oh it's such a perfect day,
I'm glad I spent it with you.
Oh such a perfect day.....



Ferdinand: Wit and friend to the famous.

Ferdinand: still in his box !

"I don't think Ferdinand is very well, he's still in his box...!" (Susan female human of the household.)
"Perhaps he ought to go to the vet....!"
"He's hung over, a glutten and a rake," Dolly mewed as she rubbed Susan's leg.
"Ah Doll' you worried about him?"
"No he's a lazy blighter, it was me and Lil did all the cleaning while he did the canoodling with Electra."
"I'll give him some warm milk when he wakes up. ."
"What? it was me that broke a nail moving all those boxes."
"... see if he can be tempted."
"Oh! he can be tempted alright."
"Now come on Dolly let's leave him sleeping for now we'll check on him later..."

Ferdinand: still asleep, and dreaming of a bowl of warm milk!

Ferdinand, Bohemian Rhapsody and big Lil singing

"Ferdi."
"Ferdi."
"Ferdi."
"Ferdi."
"Ferdi."
"Er, ow, my head, Lil."
"Ferdi."
"Lil not quite so loud."
"What?"
"Shhhhh."
"What?"
"ouuuuuuw ch."
"What?"
"Lil my head."
"Still there Ferdi on top of your body, still orange,well a bit green, well very green matches your eyes."
"Lil haven't you a radiator to sleep on."
"What?"
"Lil go away!"
"Ferd just wanted to say thank you, for my pearls and the lobster and and .."
"LIL!"
"...letting me sing."
"Lil! ooooohouch. Lil Go."

"I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo Figaro - magnifico......"

"Lillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly."

"... Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me..."

"Great Lil."
"Shall I do it again?"
"No!"

"Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me..."

"Oh groan."

Ferdinand not feeling too good and serenaded by Big lil singing Bohemian Rhapsody!

Boogie on down Ferdie

Ferdinand ginger cat's banquet

I'm a little behind!
"A big behind."
"A little behind with the main course."
"You seen Lil?"
"NO."

"You been at the cream?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Sure, I'm sure."

Have you met Dolly?

Welcome

Ferdinand ginger cat and big Lil

Umh LIL! LIL LIlly!
Lilly!
Lil is not ready yet.

Ferdinand ginger cat is prepared

Well I'm done, I'm prepared. I just now need to attend to me. I'm sooooooooooooo excited.

Dolly is ready already and is permanently stationed in front of the mirror, she's now checking her smile, ooh now a little twirl.

Oh groan she's blowing kisses to herself.

I can't watch much more of this! I'm off to my ablutions.

Ferdinand's soiree

Ferdinand ginger cat's menu

Ferdinand: accommodation for my guests.

I have been remiss! I have chums from far and wide arriving at my abode but I hadn't offered accommodation, so my sixth file
Things I forgot to do but are now done file.

Accommodation; brand spanking new boxes, perfect.Ferdinand: interior designer and cardboard box arranger.

Ferdinand party planner.

I am absolutely filthy. I have been rummaging in the shed for a red carpet. I can't find even a red tablecloth. We have royalty coming and I want to roll out the red carpet for his kingliness.
I shall put this in the to be sorted file.

I've almost planned the menu.
This can go in the nearly done file.

I've ordered my bow tie. I am going to buy Dolly a diamante choker (she has been ogling it for weeks and she likes bling) Big Lil is going to wear pearls -she doesn't know but I think they will suit her very well.
So this can go in the sort of sorted file.

I have my hand delivered invitations to give out.
I'm not sure if Billy the barge cat's barge is moored so I'll have to nip over the canal and have a look.
There's Jim the graveyard cat- his language is a bit ripe but he's good fun.
There's Digby -mind you he is very good looking -umh I'll decide about him later.
And last but definitely not least Electra. Her of the blue eyes and grey body, the lithe limbs, the soft voice, for her they're will be sapphires...
So this can go in the still to be done file.

I have started to spray so all my chums can easily find us. Eau de naturelle tom cat. I did get over excited and accidentally sprayed the sheets hanging on the washing Line, will I ever be forgiven? Susan female human of the household? (no problem) Martin? ( male human of the household) no! but he's away at the moment managing a paddling pool so no worries there. But can I forgive myself? that is the tough one (umh oh alright then.)
Right so this can go in the done but more to do file.

I have five files with stuff in, so much to do so little time to do it. Good job I'm organized, a natural planner, a party planner.

Ferdinand : party planner the host with the most.

Ferdinand ginger cat's invitation

I am going to give a little dinner for all members of the catblogosphere and catnip anonymous society, well not a little dinner, a big dinner, umh!
I am going to hold a banquet, no! I am hosting a banquet- a big banquet. Umhh room for a little improvement perhaps.
I am hosting a soiree on the evening of the 24th November! That's it. Umm!

A soiree on the evening of the 24th of November hosted by Ferdinand ginger cat. Better.
A soiree is to be held on the 24th of November hosted by the ranconteur Ferdinand ginger cat. Better still.

A soiree is to be held on the 24th of November hosted by the ranconteur and bon vivant Ferdinand ginger cat. Ummh almost perfect.

A soiree is to be held on the 24th of November hosted by the ranconteur and bon vivant Ferdinand the most handsome ginger cat. Perfect.

I shall spend the week working out the menu. Dolly- oh striped one- can be hostess and serve the courses -if she can be trusted to keep her whiskers away from the cream jug, which I doubt! Perhaps I could lock her out - not give her an invitation. No she'd only rattle on the door handle and dribble on the glass.

Big Lil can sing, she has a very good voice, well it's loud and it does carry, she has been practising bohemian rhapsody- mostly at three in the morning- and she has almost perfected it. So she can be the entertainment. If we can keep away from the food- I won't share her disgusting table manners with my guests so she'll have to eat in the kitchen and join us later.
There almost sorted just -send out the invites...!
Done.


Ferdinand, bon vivant, raconteur and perfect host.

Ferdinand ginger cat -Bastet.

Dear God

Today I have been a paragon of virtue,
Today I have not been cantankerous, bad tempered or rude,
I have not been greedy, nasty or selfish
I have not complained, whinged or whined,
I have not stolen the left over chicken
-On the kitchen table, only lightly covered and with a whole leg...
I have resisted temptation.

But I will be getting out of my box in a moment and I will really need your help!


If I pray to anyone it is Bast, I am Bastet.

What we need is a homeland, a homeland for Bastets, Felixstowe? No! Catalonia, that's it the very place. Warm, ideal for sunbathing; on the coast, perfect for fishing.

We'll need a constitution, a list of commandments. And I as the founder of this state and a direct descendant of The Bast (the family likeness as shown by this ancient Egyptian sculpture is testament to my birthright) am in the unique position of being entitled to its draft.

All felidae Bastets will be entitled to citizenship: as long as they're not more handsome than me -which is unlikely.

• Thou shall eat fish on Friday.
• Thou shall have a new box every day.
• Thou shall not be moved (from sleeping on the clean washing.)
• Thou shall purr six times a day.
• Thou shall chew catnip.
• Thou shall wash a thousand times a day -a Bastet's body is a temple.
• Thou shall practice hymn singing at 2 am and again at 5 am.
• Thou shall rest for twelve hours a day and sleep for eight.
• Thou shall convert any ailurophobe Bastists to the one true faith.
• And on the seventh day rest.
  

Ferdinand ginger cat the biggest Bastet of them all.

Ferdinand and Micky the muse

Trying to get near this computer nowadays is becoming difficult. Susan (female human of the household) keeps drawing with a mouse! Now I don't recommend this to anyone, they may be small but they have a nasty nip. Believe me I know.

We have a commune of Mickys under the honeysuckle, and I, being the supreme hunter managed to capture one of these beings in less than eight hours. He wasn't too keen on the idea but I explained it was to assist me in my artistic endeavours and I had no intention whatsoever in causing him bodily harm, and that this was the new thing and no longer was a being required to yield his fur to make a brush (bald as a badger) no! this is going to be a live art performance with hirsute beings. And he would be given full credit: Micky muse!

I had my canvas prepared (well my box, the side of my box.) I'd just gotten him into position when a momentary lapse of concentration -my mind had wandered, my creative juices were flowing, and I popped him in my mouth much as a human would suck a pencil, Well the little blighter screamed called me a lying treacherous wotsit and promptly bit my nose, I'm scarred for life. My nose has swollen to three times its size, my handsome proboscis a carbuncle.

Ferdinand: saving up for plastic surgery please give generously!

Freedom horses and me, Ferdinand ginger cat.

Martin (male of human of the household) said,
"you're not given freedom you take it!!

The horses didn't bray, were silent. They stood; mares, foals and stallions on a small islet, they hadn't eaten or drunk for four days, subdued, heads held low.

The army: were going to build a bridge.
The air force: fly them out on harnesses dangling from helicopters.
Four foals died, the others dying.
Experts gave their advice: the herd could bolt and all drown...

The answer, easy when you know, was other horses. Horses with riders -a quiet solution.

The big horse and his rider stood to the front of the herd. The main contingent of horse and riders circled to the rear. At a given moment the gang yelled; the herd woke from their malaise, scared by the noise, weary from their islet survival their notion enmasse was:
Well he's a big bugger we'll follow him. And they did!

The big horse trotted through a safe path demarked in the water with white flags on sticks and the exhausted herd followed - barbed wire and sunken dangers lay surface hidden below grey waters.

They clicked their heels: terra firma, the depression lifted the herd awakened.

Tell it to the caged canary and the battery hen, tell it to the bears dancing on the end of chains; tell them it's their fault, blame them for their plight after all you're not in that circumstance and it must be because you are cleverer than they!


Violent storms on Tuesday led to the death of 19 horses in Holland. The herd of 100 horses, including several foals, was stranded for four days on a tiny piece of land surrounded by flood water. Rescuers on horseback lead the remaining horses through the water to safety earlier today.

The storm lifted the North Sea waters as much as 13 feet above its normal level and pushed it into the wilderness area outside the dikes of Marrum, a town 90 miles from the Dutch capital of Amsterdam. High water levels and hours in the water led to the death of the 19 horses from either over exposure or drowning.

Firefighters and animal welfare officers plotted a rescue route and earlier today four women on horseback guided the animals back. One horse decided not to follow but was led back later on. Some horses, including the smallest foals had been ferried to safety by small boats on Wednesday.


Ferdinand ace reporter!