Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Ferdinand the not worrying ginger cat!

In dedication to all cats specially those of ginger hue,
and one irascible character that ginger cat I knew!


This is one of Susan's (female human of the household) doodles.
MMM I'm worried. That sounds like an epithet. Does she know something I don't know? Could she know something I don't know? It isn't that I don't like it, it's the timing. I mean, I may well use it on my tombstone -well I won't 'cos I won't be here, but I wouldn't mind it being used on my tombstone. But why now? Could she know about a fatwa? Am I being over sensitive?

I won't worry. Ferdinand don't worry! I will say this over and over again -self hypnosis. Ferdinand don't worry! Desensitization. Don't worry Ferdinand. Um I feel much better now!

Ferdinand the not worrying ginger cat, no i'm not worried at all, not a bit, no.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The mad male, Mufti of Australia and the ginger cat.

I could not believe my furry ears today after hearing the news. Mr Mullah Antipodean has accused all males of lacking self-control, labelled all we testosterone-fuelled beings as mad bad deviants, incapable of disciplining our thoughts or actions.

Usually, when a being lacks moderation, incarceration, sectioning under the mental health act, or if a quadruped death by shooting or lethal injection follows. So, are all we beings with big external bits between our legs in need of incarceration to protect the public from our marauding? No! The diamond ring that is stolen, the house that is burgled, the goods shoplifted are all to blame, but the male is innocent because he is by his nature totally bonkers, but as he- Sheik Taj Aldin al-Hilali -is a male his sermon according to his own philosophy is the outpouring of a criminal mind or lunatic or both.

Follow through his argument there could be no beautiful things on the planet. I could not have a new box somebody -might nick it. If I were given a new collar -a new collar for Christmas -a collar with a bow tie - an Eton collar for cats - I would deserve to get it nicked. And worse, the very worse thing about his "sermon" is he blamed not just the male but specifically cats!

Now call me paranoid but... Did he read my blog last week about face veils? Ok so ginger cat wasn't mentioned, but it could have been, I could have a fatwa against me as I write... ginger tom from Wiltshire, a ginger tomcat named Ferdinand from Wiltshire... I'll never be able to show my face again...!

Sheik Taj Aldin al-Hilali - the Mufti of Australia - condemned women who "sway suggestively", wear make-up and no hijab or Islamic headscarf, in a Ramadan sermon to 500 worshippers, The Australian reported. During the sermon al Hilali said: "If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden, or in the park, or in the backyard without cover, and the cats come to eat it... whose fault is it, the cats' or the uncovered meat? "The uncovered meat is the problem. If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab, no problem would have occurred." The Australian also reported that he said that women were "weapons" used by "Satan" to control men.

And just one further thought as Mr Mufti seeks to explain himself...

He was reported in the newspaper as saying that he only meant to refer to prostitutes as meat, and not any woman who does not wear a hijab, but the paper said there was no mention of the word prostitute in the sermon.

...If the shop's closed for business taking the goods without consent is theft!

Ferdinand ginger tomcat: vegetarian!

Monday, October 23, 2006

The ginger cat calendar

A shameless promotion! But I am the inspiration, so it should be a proud promotion. This is the ginger cat calendar -inspired by me, Ferdinand ginger cat- model and 'mews'!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Homage to Halloween and not by a black cat but Ferdinand ginger cat

I, of course ignore them, the blue translucent beings - they after all largely ignore me, they never rub my ears, feed me, nor do they talk to me, not even about me, so humph to them. One did pull my tail once and I swatted him, which sent Martin -male human of the household- into convulsive fits of laughter rounded off by hiccups and a fart!

"That cat is having a pretend fight. Bonkers. Absolutely mad! "Martin said to himself.

I tried to follow as one of these beings walked through a wall but bruised my nose rather badly on the radiator. Fortunately, no one was around to witness this event. So now, I take no notice of them whatsoever.

Dolly however, stares in fascination as the old blue lady descends the stairs and walks through to the kitchen -she secretly enjoys the discomfiture of the humans of the household. Most evenings at six Dolly can be found positioned in the living room doorway watching and waiting.

Big Lil doesn't ignore them either. She bless her, wants them to feed her. So when they ignore her she shouts. She shouts at them in the front room, she shouts at them from her place on the back of the sofa. She shouts at them in the early hours of the morning.

I wonder why the blue translucent beings ignore us -mostly? I know why I do, but I wonder why Martin and Susan ignore them? Strange. Oh well, ignorance (not that I believe it) is bliss.

Ghosts are here!

Ferdinand ginger cat in pumpkin at Halloween
Ghosts are here!
Shadows on the ceiling,
footsteps on the floor
bony fingers scratching,
scraping at the door.

Ghosts are here.
Cobwebs dance in corners,
creaking treads the stair
icy voices moan, chill
whispers stir the air.

Ghosts are here.
Skeletons tap rhythms
to tunes long since played,
welcome bright morning
now the ghosts are laid.

by SJH

Friday, October 06, 2006

Jack Straw, face veils and Butch

Jack Straw has opened a debate on the wearing of face veils. I believe that what we wear -a turquoise diamante collar with leopard print trim and a cardboard box on our heads- is absolutely nothing to do with any government! However, these face veils I do not like or comprehend, they lump all human females into one amorphous lump called woman onto which any opinion of that sex can be projected. From countries where one man's opinion in court counts for twice that of a woman's this item of clothing only emphasises that bias.

Unless of course, all these women are irresistibly beautiful and are in danger of being jumped on as soon as they leave their homes, this is unlikely to be true, not that I'm casting aspersions on their appearance- well I couldn't could I? Not with a veil on it- but it seems the human male of that tribe has the problem if he can't contain himself every time a woman walks by who's not swathed in acres of fabric. The sexual thoughts after all are in his head not hers!

This has everything to do with testosterone of which I know much about. I Ferdinand ginger tomcat, am the exception to this rule, but most males, drugged up to the eyeballs with this hormone, are regardless of appearance, age, intellect or anything remotely to do with attractiveness, is in his own eyes, god's special gift to the female of the species.

Butch is an example I shall give for this delusion. Butch was 24 years of age -that was how old he was when he went to the cat house in the sky; he was a full, intact male. He had one tooth, frayed ears and his fur was falling out. He was never handsome not even in his younger days but to himself he was what all females were waiting - their chance with The Butch. Now if Butch were to have worn a cardboard box I could see an advantage for him. Because Butch had some talent as a mouser could be funny and had his own shed, so he had some attractive points unfortunately, none of them were in the physical department. So, a box with holes for eyes would have revealed his good points and concealed his bad. But not if every other male has to do it, I Ferdinand, am not rich in worldly possessions but I have been blessed in the good looks stakes, me wearing a box would be just another cat in a box. No advantage to me at all, because and especially I am Ferdinand ginger cat and any old tabby could say they were ginger, even heaven forbid, Dolly!