Monday, February 26, 2007

Big Lil sleeping on the job.

"If I'm the editor and you're the proprietor!"

"And all round good-looking, good guy."
"What's Lil?"

"A sleeping partner!"

Ferdinand: newspaper magnate.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Ferdinand's relationship with Richard Madeley

Ferdinand is not good looking he's just a big head, a big ginger head. His relationship with Richard Madeley is a can of pilchards.I have never been introduced to Richard Madeley, makes me wonder if Ferdinand has something to hide...

It's Richard this and Richard that. He's a name dropper, and Richard Madeley has never invited him on the Richard and Judy show. He does have his photograph though -in the silver antique frame , but that could be a publicity photo.

Ferdinand says I can write my gossip column -ooh THANKS- but his friendship with Richard is off the agenda, perhaps he doesn't want my enquiring mind to enquire. I might turn up something, something fishy about his friendship.

So cods heads to you Ferdinand I am going to publish.

Written by Dolly: Editor.

Censored by Ferdinand: The bigot!

"I'm nit a bigot."

"You're right you are a nit."

"I'm not a bigot."

"Are, are, are."


I knew the first thing Dolly would gossip about in her column was Richard Madeley.

Ferdinand: telepathically talented.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Ferdinand and the problems of censorship.


I've decided that our Doll can write her gossip column, which is a big decision 'cos it means I'll have to act as censor - and I don't believe in censorship. A contradiction, I know. Why is everything so difficult?

It is so much easier, I reckon to view the world in black and white. I have explained that Richard Madeley and my good ginger self is out of bounds: what passes between him and me is sacrosanct, - but his skin has taken on a distinctive orange tone...

Oh, yes I am influential.
Where I go others can only follow.

Anyway I am flattered that Richard is turning orange, -a subliminal acknowledgment of my influence. BUT I wonder what Dolly -unlike me who rubs shoulders with the rich and the famous -will write about...?

Ferdinand : in the predicament of acting censor.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Ferdinand: Looking for a fallout shelter

Hmmm. See Dolly's been writing in my journal again!

The only dirty thing about Martin's weekend was Dolly's hair all over his clothes and his boots coated with mud!

"Hello Ferd."
"Oh blimey."
"Wish you'd stop muttering Ferd, you need to enunciate if you want to be heard."
"I don't."
"See that's what I mean, mumbling and muttering. Now what was it you said?"
"I said I just read your article."
"Good wasn't it!"
"You Dolly are a gossip."
"That Ferdinand is very apt because that's why I've come here; to tell you that I'm going to write a gossip column."
"Knew you’d be pleased, must dash, things to do, beings to see."

Ferdinand: Looking for a fallout shelter -as well as a four-leaf clover...

Monday, February 12, 2007

Ferdinand: this is not a cat in a hat!

Martin was away for a dirty weekend!

Dolly decided to accompany him.

"All this cat’s fur on my clothes!"

Dirty, dirty boy!

There's the cat in the hat and there's letting the cat out of the bag but there's no getting Dolly out of this bag...

She just turned over and said...

"Do not disturb."

Ferdinand: this is not a cat in a hat!

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Richard Madeley is back on the box

I’ve not been at all well!
Had terrible flu.
Haven't been out of my box for a week!
All my best-laid plans for the hunting of the lucky rabbits foot are gone asunder.


"You have not had flu! you sneezed a couple of times most likely from Susan moving the dust around - you know that thing she does, calls it housework."
"It was flu, definitely flu. Probably avian flu I could keel over at any second."
"Well it could be avian flu I suppose."
"See knew you'd have to agree in the end."
"It could be avian flu 'cos you are a great big chicken -Roland rabbit is still a quadruped! Coward."
"I was too ill to go out."
"It's not healthy to lay around all day!"
"It's flu, it's not supposed to be healthy!"
"And that Barbie pink blanket you're laying around on is toooooo much Ferdinand in short you clash. I get a headache just from looking at you. "

"Don'"t look."
"Nothing, just cleared my throat you know what it's like when you're all bunged up."
"Anyway just thought you'd like to know Richard Madeley's back on the telly."
"What? When? Why didn't you tell me?"
"'Cos you're not well and you need your rest!"
"Could have put my blanket on the sofa."
"No, we don’t want your germs and avian flu is dangerous you better stay in isolation for the foreseeable future."

And Dolly gave the one tail flick salute and left my conservatory.

Hmm. It is getting rather boring in this box and this blanket although very soft, pink is rather girlie....
I know. A change of plan. I'll look for a four-leaf clover – It'll mean waiting to the spring but I'm patient that's the sign of a great hunter. And with Richard Madeley back on the box I feel my lucks beginning to change. I may not even need a good luck symbol...

Ferdinand feeling better already.