Thursday, November 29, 2007

The tom is a gentleman!

Ah ha!
Proof -if proof were needed- that the male tom cat is in deed a gentleman.

'Manners maketh the male alley cat - they let females eat first.
They may be mangy, flea-bitten and aggressive but male alley cats still have perfect manners.
A study has found that when feral cats gather round a dustbin in search of food, the toms let the females and kittens go first...'

Unlike the journalist (mangy, flea-bitten and aggressive!) hmmph.

Friday, November 23, 2007

The computer's brain is missing...

Susan has pulled the plug on the computer. Not only has she pulled the plug but she's pulling out wires and jacks from the back of the computer! All the lights are out. All the beeps and pings are silent.

Dolly is asleep on a roll of bubble wrap on the table. Susan (female human of the household.) has left the room!

Susan has returned. She has in her hand two screwdrivers and a paintbrush!
Dolly is snoring.
Susan puts the computer on the desk.
She is undoing the screws at the back of the computer...
We're going in to the brains of the box. The inner workings -all the cogs and wheels and the levers and the lights and the hammers and the clocks, of said clever box are about to be revealed.
Just one last screw...
Ok, here we go.
The metal side is being slid.
Ok just get a bit closer.
Ok Susan go for it.
And we're...
"Susan there is nothing in there, what've you done with the brain?"
"Ferdinand will you get your nose out of the computer."
"Where is it?"
"Ferd will you shut up and move your head out of the way."
I'll just take a closer look. I can't believe the brain can just go. There is nothing in here! Well there's a bit of flat plastic, a couple of plastic bits and some string...
And dust.
A lot of dust.
”Ferdinand will you get your big ginger head out of there. Look at all that dust. Dust and cat fur. Ginger cat fur!"

”DOLLY. You seen this?”
”You woke me up to ask whether I've seen nothing?”

"The computer's brain is missing...."

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Riddle of child benefit lost discs solved! News bulletin

Computer discs holding the personal details of all families in the UK with a child under 16 have gone missing.

But let me Ferdinand ginger cat reassure all you bald beings; there is no malicious intent.
'Every family with a child under 16...' The clues are there.

It's just Santa joining the technology revolution...

Expect a, And have you been good? email very shortly. Ho ho ho.

Ferdinand ginger cat: detective

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Don't rub my belly I'm ticklish!

I know this is very disappointing but I am not visible in internet explorer. Weird eh! Ferdinand invisible cat.

But if you want to reveal me (microsofters)you can click the link above.

Hey! Watch my tail...

I said no tail touching.

Be fair...
A belly rub...
A stroke of the ear...

Ferdinand: Sensitive -in parts.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Diary of a hairless tom cat!

Ermmm strange. Some being wanted to see me in the buff. No. It's November. I know some beings shave their hair off for charity and that is very generous of them... But I am Ferdinand ginger cat. Ferdinand bald cat doesn't have quite the same ring to it. Plus I'd have to open a new publication: Diary of a hairless tom cat! No.

I've added fish to the office decor. Very relaxing to watch, a fantastic colour and when they get bigger they'll make a very tasty snack...