Monday, March 31, 2008

A ginger beehive

"Yes Lil."
"Have you seen Ferdi?"
"Yes Lil, he just came through here..."
"Only there's another furry being trespassing! And I thought he'd need to know..."
"That Lil, was Ferdinand."
"He had a bouffant..."
"That was Ferdinand."
"A ginger beehive thing on his head."
"LIL. That was Ferdinand!"

"Really? My eyes are getting worse. I need glasses.

Dolly: The lunatics have taken over the asylum!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Ferdinand's freaky follicles

"How much did you get paid for that catastrophe on your head."
"Fifty quid. Well, twenty five quid. 'Cos I had to share it with Bill.Twenty five pounds for me and twe..."
"Yes, Ferdinand. I think I can work out that Bill got twenty-five quid."
"Twenty pounds!"
"And why did Billy receive less dosh than you, freaky Follicles?"
"Because we had to pay a fiver to a Roland."
"And what was going on with the rodent? Bald?"
"No. Nothing at all."
"Oh right. Good."

"Just a bit bigger..."
"Oh right...How much bigger?"
"Well I don't know how much bigger 'cos I'm no good at working out percentage increases. Never have been very good at sums. Arithmetic. Maths. More a humanities sort of a feline.
"Ferdinand! How big was the rat?"
"Um! Er... 'bout the size of a small...
... wearing a lab coat..."

Friday, March 28, 2008

Billy the bald-headed barge cat.

"You should see Billy the barge cat!"
"I'm afraid to ask but, why?"
"He got paid for hair removal! Want to see a picture?"

bald headed cat
"Which Doll? Which do you prefer? Me with my crowning glory or Billy with the pink patch?"
"Neither. And I think you should give Bill your barnet to cover that bald spot!"
"I can't. It's rooted to my head, plus he would silly with a ginger toupee."
"All toupees are ginger!"
"Well! Mm true, very true..."

I got paid by the animal testing laboratory

"Ferdinand! What is that on your head?"
"Ah, you noticed?"
"Noticed! Noticed? Are you completely bonkers? How could that fluorescent-orange wig be overlooked?"
"Wig. Wig. This, oh striped one, is not a wig. Here tug it. Go on tug it. Give it a good hard yank. Ouch not that bloomin' hard!"
"What've you got that stuck on with? Superglue?"
"No. This is my very own hair."
"Oh, yeah, right. Anyway, it looks stupid!"

Dolly has no finesse. No style.
This new hairdo. I got paid for this. Yes, that's right. I did not pay for this hair-do! I got Paid! Good eh?

At the animal testing laboratory...

Dolly: Sometimes it's not just Big Lil who gives me cause for concern.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Some beings have no catiquette!

Blimey! Every bloomin' Easter that hat makes an appearance. As soon as he removes it from his carrot head I'm going to bury it in the compost heap!

Ferdinand is behaving oddly. So what's new you ask? Well more oddly than his usual peculiar self.
He has not appeared without said bonnet. And when I snuck up on him when he was sending out the ZZZZs from his box, he hid his face underneath the blanket!

Something decidedly fishy is going on!

But I, Dolly super reporter, will get to the bottom of the intrigue. Talking of bottoms, when Susan is at the keyboard I jump up on the desk to keep her company and show her my very pretty derrière! But she twists me round! "Wrong end." she says, honestly she has no catiquette.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Ferdinand ginger cat in his Easter bonnet

Me, in my Easter Hat.

Cool, Eh?

Oh, yes. I am a cat of style and sophistication.

One cool cat!

Happy Easter

Jumped right out of my box!

Dolly missed me while I was away! She was so excited to see me she woke me up in the very early hours of the morning...
Made me jump right out of my box shouting my name at the top of her vocal chords in pure joy and excitement at my return.
Bless her.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Is this the ugliest cat contest?

The black birds have built a nest in the honeysuckle bush. This morning a puff of black feathers blew across the lawn. The female bird sat on her nest and called...

I confess it wasn’t me that did that deed.

But I know who did! We have an interloper. No sooner was my back turned than another tomcat is muscling in. And no uglier cat could be imagined. I shall get a photograph of him and start a blog entitled: Is the the ugliest cat contest? He is mustard coloured with white bits, grey bits and a black blob on his hooter that looks like a jigsaw-puzzle piece. Lil chased him down to the bottom of the garden (Honestly her courting skills leave a lot to be desired. Mind you, she is only partially sighted. Probably imagines he’s a bit of hunk.)
Plus, the door to my conservatory was left open, and blow me, an old-mangy tom (a complete stranger) strolls in and without a bye or leave tucks into my dinner and buggers off!

This place is turning into an animal hostel!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Ferdi has jumped out of his fur! Fallen out of his box!

Ferdinand is back in his box!

He slunk in, in the early hours.

But he has been back before! A couple of weeks ago...

But buggered off again when he noticed that the boiler was busted.
It would take a "couple of weeks before it could be fixed," the plumber said, sucking the words in over his teeth. And we just had to have the coldest snap of the winter -7 degrees c. Lasted for a whole seven days. Perma frost.

Martin borrowed the brass for the boiler from his father.

I'm going to shout in his lug-hole. Not Martin's lug-hole. Ferdinand's lug-hole.


Leaving us to freeze our paws off. Where's the solidarity?


He looks cosy. All snug as a bug...


FERDINAND!!!! Crash, bang, wollop.

Oh dear! Ferdi has jumped out of his fur! Fallen out of his box!


Ferdinand: a night on the tiles