Ferdinand's freaky follicles

"How much did you get paid for that catastrophe on your head."
"Fifty quid. Well, twenty five quid. 'Cos I had to share it with Bill.Twenty five pounds for me and twe..."
"Yes, Ferdinand. I think I can work out that Bill got twenty-five quid."
"Twenty pounds!"
"And why did Billy receive less dosh than you, freaky Follicles?"
"Because we had to pay a fiver to a Roland."
"And what was going on with the rodent? Bald?"
"No."
"Hirsute?"
"No. Nothing at all."
"Oh right. Good."

"Just a bit bigger..."
"Oh right...How much bigger?"
"Well I don't know how much bigger 'cos I'm no good at working out percentage increases. Never have been very good at sums. Arithmetic. Maths. More a humanities sort of a feline.
"Ferdinand! How big was the rat?"
"Um! Er... 'bout the size of a small...
...cow
... wearing a lab coat..."