Ferdinand: Tracy Emin eat your heart out!

Well it's finished. Complete. Pleased? Oh yes. This is a Ferdinand design. An exclusive.
Tracy Emin eat your heart out. This installation could be worth thousands of friskies in the months to come.

My creative juices flowed. And note the return of traditional material. Paint. The paintings though are a collaborative effort. The biggest paw marks are Lil's, the smallest Doll's and the most perfectly formed brush strokes are mine.

A little catnip before my catnap me thinks...

Ferdinand: Just too talented.

Ferdinand not thinking about yellow wallpaper.

I have a new box! It must be the plainest box on the planet, a puritan of a box. This calls for a spot of decorating.

I shall of course. In pride of place have Richard Madeley’s photograph in the silver antique frame. (I'm not putting it on Ebay I've decided, it’s just too valuable!) But my bacon rind is a must go Ebay item. Anyway I digress.

I need some wallpaper. This box is a blank canvas, which is the one and only good thing about this boring bland beige box. Now I have a tartan blanket a pink blanket or blue blanket. Not the tartan 'cos then I think the walls will have to be plain. Pink no. The man from auntie doesn't like pink so... Blue it is. Decisions! I am just so incisive. Dolly dithers. Females eh!

Wallpaper. Complimentary or tonal?. Complimentary. I like yellow. Sunshine. Summer. Warmth. So now where will I find yellow wallpaper. I'll just let my mind drift...

Not concentrate and let my brain solve the problem without me attending to it. This what creative types do and I'm a creative who types so it shouldn't be a problem.


I'll just let my mind empty of all thoughts of yellow wallpaper.

Creative type anagram= carpet I've yet (to have) private etc, ye (will not sleep in my box Dolly) and not concern myself with the box and a certain colour.


How do you stop thinking of yellow wallpaper when that's what you're trying not to think about?

I know I'll write an article in my journal. I'll write about my new box. Nothing that's going to cause consternation or upset any being. It'll be so boring my mind will wander on to solving the great wallpaper challenge. Stop me thinking about wallpaper and the shade there of.

I have a new box! It must be the plainest box...



Ferdinand: a creative who types!

Big Lil thinking outside the box whilst her head's inside!

Ferdinand has hunted a box of Kentucky fried chicken. He and Lil are partaking of the ill-gotten goods on the front room rug. Gross. I can hear them from here, lip smacking and it's not good!

"That's my bit. You have that bit. That's mine and that and that." That's big Lil.
"I captured it; I'd quite like to taste it. And I don't just want the herby coating.
Lil stop eating and get your paw off the box. That's the box you're eating there Lil." And that whine is Ferdinand.


"You'd think Dolly would appreciate this feast."
"What?"
"Dolly."
"Where?"
"Have you saved her any?"
"What."
"Saved Dolly any?"
"No. She can have the box."
"Good idea saves us cleaning up."
"What?"
"Saves us clearing up."
"Certainly does save on the washing up. A take away saves on washing up so it must be good for the environment. We, Ferd are saving the planet while we eat!"
"Interesting idea that Lil. You certainly know how to think outside the box."

"Burp."
"Oh excuse me."
"In some cultures that's considered polite."
"What?"
"It's considered polite to expel wind."
"Really?"
"Varrruhrrumpo."
"But not Lil, from that end!"


"Oh well that's me done, feasted and fattened. I'm going out for my constitutional. And a breathe of fresh air...

Ferdinand: With big Lil thinking outside the box whilst her head's inside!

Dolly: investigative reporter extraordinaire.

Finally I get to use the keyboard. Ferdinand is out and about. Big Lil is asleep. So I can now publish my article on the water throwing Mrs Bigginbottom.
It goes like this...

We arrive and Electra is waiting. She really is incredibly beautiful, what she sees in Ferdinand -the bright orange fur ball- I've no idea.
Anyway...

"Dolly," she cooed "how very lovely to see you." and rubs me on both sides of the nose.
"Are you coming with us?"
"No I'm here in my journalistic capacity. Reporting the goings and comings of the Mrs Bigginbottom."
"Higginbottom! Higginbottom!" Ferdinand grumpily interrupts.
"No but she does have a very bigginbottom," Electra laughed, "How exciting can I help?"
"Oh no."
"What did you say Ferdinand?"
"He mumbles."
"Really I didn't know that."
"Ferdinand what did you say?"
"Nothing."
"See he does that, you know he's said something then he just says, nothing."
"I hadn't noticed before, but yes Dolly you're right. He does do that."
"There are lots more about him you don't know."
"Is there?"
"He..."
"Excuse me I..."
"Interrupts when you are talking."
"I do..."
"Never finishes a sentence."
"I'M..."
"Shouts."
"Humph."
"Grumbles."
"Electra shall we...?"
"Whines."

"I think we should help Dolly we weren't doing anything special and she may need us."
"Oh streuth."
"See mumbling again."
"Yes I see what you mean, funny how I hadn't noticed."

Mrs Bigginbottom is on the sofa. She is waiting for her lover. On her lap is a photograph.
"You’re just like my father!!!" she trills. -An ironic statement if ever there was one- And kisses the image before returning it to her leather folder. It's 6.15 in the evening, her kids are fed and watered and she picks up her mobile and asks:
"Where are you? Can you talk?!!!..."
To be continued...


Dolly: investigative reporter extraordinaire.

That's better

Surprising what a little prick can do!

While the cat's away... Dolly decorates.

Dolly interior designer!

Ferdinand is away. So while he’s a way ...

...gives me a chance to decorate. Put my stamp on things.

Humph so the man from the beeb said, who?
Well humph to him!
This will give him something to remember. A paws for thought.

If only I could get rid of the ginger -clashes with this sumptuous pink.

Anyway That’s me decorating done.



DOLLY: Did the decorating. Dolly: Interior decorator.

Dolly: Interior designer.



And now for my article on the water throwing Mrs Bigginbottom...