Ferdinand: talking balls

Females eh, they're a whole different sex!

I was trying to concentrate. But the racket these three females managed to make broke even my concentration...!

"Ferdinand."
"Oh blimey. Yes, oh striped one."
"What's all this screwed up paper all over the floor?"

None of my plans for the lucky rabbit's foot seemed good enough. All were good of course just not up to my normal standard of excellence. I hadn't realized how busy I had been, my brain a fever of ideas all noted on paper and then screwed up.
"Balls."

"What's this? Oh groan. Doodles and diagrams, plans and plottings, ooh and look a map stained with bacon fat."
"Paper balls."

"Food glorious food..."
Big Lil is hungry.

"I have an idea how to separate Roland from a foot."
"Oh yeah!"
"He can hop about just as easily on three legs as four."
"Well!"
"Mind you the amount of time he spends incarcerated not sure he needs any legs at all."

"I'm anxious to try it."
"What is it?"
"Big Lil, of course."
"I know that."
"Why'd you ask then?"

"Three banquets a day..."

"Your idea..."
"You hungry Lil?” Susan -female human of the household- asked
"Susan's coming...!"
"Our favourite diet!"
"...Quick shove all this paper under the bench."
"What idea?"
"Give me a hand don't just sit there."
"Just picture a great big steak."
"What on earth..." Susan shouted and she never shouts at us!
"Help me Ferd." Dolly is shouting now.
"What's all this paper everywhere?" Susan again.
"Fried, roasted or stewed."
"Ferd will you lend a hand it's your mess. Susan will be here soon."
"She's here now."
"Stop talking out the side of your mouth." Dolly shouted.
"Dolly! What are you doing?” Susan asked.

"Oh, food," Lilly
"Dolly". Susan.
"Wonderful food," Lilly again.
"Ferdinand come on help me..." Dolly.
"Marvellous food," Lil.
"Ferdinand you lazy blighter!" Dolly.
"Glorious." Lil
"Dolly, will you stop shredding all this paper." Susan.
"But I..." Dolly.
"Don’t raise your paw to Ferdi!" Susan.
"Food." Lil.

"Come on Dolly out of here! Ferdinand you are such a gent. No trouble at all..." Susan said observantly.
"...Not like the other two!"

Peace, peace at last! Now where was I? No that’s no good, or that...

Ferdinand: talking balls -an ironic statement if ever there was one.