Saturday, August 19, 2006

A.W.O.L Missing: Ferdinand ginger cat.

Ferdinand's box is empty. He has not been seen since August 11th So I, Dolly (the beautiful) will continue this blog.

I don't know where Ferdinand ginger cat is, and he didn't tell us he was going A.W.O.L. Not that I miss him! (I have just become accustomed to having him around) A bit like a hoover, the quiet only noticeable when the vacuuming stops.

I do hope he has not been squished. But I think I would sense if he were in the big cathouse in the sky (I'm very sensitive, one could say a sensitive).

Reasons for his absence:

a. He's searching for a new box (but then again he'd just go to Knees, which would only take a couple of hours.)

b. He's gotten into a scrape raiding Tesco's carrier bag recycling depot.

c. He's chasing after Electra. But then he would have certainly told us -he does like to boast about his sexual conquests in fact Ferdinand boasts about everything, he has an ego the size of a house. So on that note...

d. He has gone because Richard Madeley has not fulfilled his promise to have the ginger fur ball on his show, and he is in a major sulk. Or he's gone to London to gate crash the programme.

e. Most likely though; Susan -female human of the house hold- was writing about Cat Lettuce. She wrote that Cat Lettuce was the most handsome ginger cat, well actually she wrote Cat lettuce was the most ginger cat because Ferdinand caused a major distraction just as she was about to write the word handsome and when she resumed didn't pick up where she left off and omitted that particular word. Therefore, Ferdinand ginger cat is just plain and simply jealous.

However, if he is squished under black rubber wheels and I am writing he is jealous then I would feel rotten, wouldn't I? Well no because I have to be objective as a journalist. So, even though it may hurt my sensibilities I Think Ferdinand ginger cat is both egotistical and arrogant.

Signed Dolly (the most beautiful tabby cat in England, Europe, the world, possibly the universe.)

I, as an investigative journalist pose the question: where is Ferdinand?

Perhaps I should rename this paper Dolly's Journal, The Dolly Daily. The Tabby Tabloid -no far too down market, The Tabby Times, mmm not bad that. Um on this important note I shall log off which will allow me time to ponder this most critical subject. The Daily Dolly, The Vogue Mews.. The Dolly...!


Bonnie Underfoot said...

Ferdi? Come back soon, Ferdi!
Dolly, I disagree that you are the most beautiful cat in the world, as *I* am the most beautiful cat in North America.
Ok, I HATE sharin my house wif anofur cat (Victor) but... I do hope Ferdi is ok. While he's gone, take advantage of the best cat places.

Anonymous said...

Dear Bonnie
Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all? and I am not the queen, so there.
Signed Dolly, the most beautiful cat EVER.

Bonnie Underfoot said...

Dolly, *my* magic mirror still shows *me*.

Dolly said...

Your mirror is cracked!

Dolly THE Tabby