My name is Ferdinand, or Ferdinand the fantastic feline, or Ferdinand that flipping cat, depending on which side of the fence you sit. This side of the divide, I'm purrfection on paws – an accurate description. That side, I'm *#*@*"! I sit on many fences and have many stories to tell...!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Oh groan it's...George Bush...
Another dull day, and it's cold. This is -accordingly to the weather forecasters- the coldest spring on record for a hundred years. There is and has been a wind blowing from the Artic and...
"HELLLLLLLOO OOO OO."
In the Sunday Pape...
"HELLOO OOOO OOO OO OOOO."
In the Sunday Tim...
"HELLO OOOO OOOO OO OOOO OOO OO."
George Bus...
"HUNGRY YYY YY YYY YY YY YY YY YYY YY."
George Bush Presi...
"Helloooo ooo ooooo ooo oooo ooooo oooo oo oooo."
Nuclear bomb...
"oooooo ooo oo."
Iran...
"Helloooooo ooooo ooooooo oooooooo oooo ooo o."
"Ferdi?
...and Iraq..
"Dolly!"
"Helloooooooooooooo oooooo ooooooo oooo o ooo ooo."
"It's Lilly."
"I know. I can hear her."
"I'm HuNgryyyyyyyyyyyy yyy yyyy yyyyyy yyyyyy."
The presiden...
"Hellooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo oooo ooo."
The president of US...
"Ferd?"
"YES?"
"You're shouting now."
"I''m trying to read a very important pie.."
"Helloooooooooooooooo oooooo oooo."
"Ferd."
...Chicken flu found in a Scot...
"Dolly give her some Friskies,"
"Its not that..."
"No?"
"Well it is but ..."
"Then give her something to eat."
"She's had another nightmare, besides comfort eating makes you fat."
"Oh groan!"
"I told her about Daniel coming here in the summer."
Anniversary his. ..Right... Charlie...Duchess...
"I signed really, not told 'cos she can't hear."
"Mmm?"
"Ferdi?"
"Yes."
"Would you pay attention?"
I put down my paper.
"HUNNNNNNNNGRYY YYY."
" signed..."
"You signed what Doll, a contract, cheque, your life away?"
" I didn't sign anything."
"But you just said, you distinctly said..."
" ..signed, signed to Lil -Lilly is deaf, so I signed -about Daniel coming."
"Well that's good she won't be surprised and run up the chimney again."
"She wants comfort food but she'll throw up if she has any more grub."
"Comfort eating, nightmares, Daniel, what Dolly -and i'm asking this in trepidation- are you talking about?"
"He's a head hunter. I suppose he could be a cannibal which would be a bit of a blessing making we three furry felines a bit safer. But Ferdi, and if you weren't so wrapped up in your newspaper you'd undestand this, without Susan (female human) and Martin (male human) what are we going to do? They'd be no friskies, no radiator for big Lil to loll against AND Ferd, no boxes for you."
"What exactly Dolly, have you signed to Lil?"
"Well I did two paws walking then a fist knocking on the door, then mimed the door opening and then pointed at the yet imaginary Daniel, then I pointed at my neck and with my claw extended dragged it across my throat."
"That it then, no boiling oil or burning at the stake as the welcoming committee?"
"Aren't you scared?"
"No."
"Brave?"
"No."
"Stupid!"
"Hmmpf! Dolly. Daniel is a head hunter not a hunter of heads."
"Same thing!"
"He connects intelligent talented people with people that need intelligent talented people. He does not hack their heads off and stick them on poles."
"Oh I'll tell Lil then."
"Good and give her some Friskies."
"I'll tell her she'll be ok 'cos the only thing she uses her brain for is to keep her ears apart."
"Hellllllllllllllllllllloooooooooo oooooooooooo oooooooo ooo ooooo."
..that Irans nuclear sites have been struck during the night by American bombers.
"Oh groan!"
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1 comment:
Whew! Really glad you explained that head hunter thing! Thought we might have to launch an attack on your country and spirit you three out in the night!
Fortunately, there is no human of any intelligence living in our house. HaHaHa!!!
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