Hands off my fur coat!

I watched the news today.
“ I saw a film today."
Sometimes I think big Lil is not quite as deaf as she...
'Oh boy.'
Excuse me I'll just close the door.





"And though the news was rather sad.."
That's better. She's a good singer but...

Anyway.
Importing cat and dog fur has been banned in Europe! I didn't know it was ever legal!

In a cage stood a shed (a very nice shed, a very comfortable shed in any other circumstance). In the doorway of the shed stood a feline being. Solitary. Alone, apart from the many companions who shared his compound.

He was quite plump with ginger hair and white boots. They, his chums, his family, all ginger, were rather thin. All skin and bone -or rather all skin and hair. Stretched flat out, drying under the hot sun.

"A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look."

Ferdinand: Hands off my fur coat! And Lil's. And Doll's (not that any being would want it but she is rather attached to it).

Ferdinand annoying when he's here and irritating when he leaves!

I.

"That’s a good sentence Doll."
"Ferdinand I’m busy. Taken me ages to get on this computer so if you don’t mind I’d like to continue with out you breathing over my shoulder."
"What you writing?"
"I’m continuing my article about the water throwing Mrs Bigginbottom."
"Oh right."

"Malcolm Jekyll plonks out the chords of let it be on Mrs Bigginbottom’s piano."

"I know him."
"Ferdinand! I know I’m going to regret this but how do you know him?"
"Butch."
"Butch? That bald, scabby, motley, moggy with no teeth."
"He happens to be 160 years old and he does have teeth, well tooth, fang, upper right canine.
I rest my case!"
"He would pop round and visit the Jekyll homestead and..."
"I’m busy. Too busy to listen to one of your long-winded anecdotes."
"She would chat to him..."
"Who?"
"Sharon."
"Sharon?"
"About her husband."
"Oh groan."
"Malcolm Jekyll."

"Oh."
"Oh well best be off, leave you to it."
"Ferdinand!"
"Ferdinand come back here. What about Mrs Jekyll?."

"Ferdinand."
"Ferdinand."

Ferdinand annoying when he's here and irritating when he leaves!

Psst, Pssssssssssst, Spunky! Pssssssst.

Spunky. Psssssssssssssssssssssssssst.
Just a word.
If you were to sneak into a certain suitcase.
Hide your being under a set of bloomers.
Stowaway.
Need I say more?

There's a box here with your name on it.
Actually it's got my name on it but that's just minor detail. I haven't sorted out the electrics yet. But Spunk. You are more than welcome. (My home will be like Blackpool illuminations time I've read the book) -just got to find the book. ..

Ferdinand: Electrical engineer -or will be when I can find the diy book.

Ferdinand: Tracy Emin eat your heart out!

Well it's finished. Complete. Pleased? Oh yes. This is a Ferdinand design. An exclusive.
Tracy Emin eat your heart out. This installation could be worth thousands of friskies in the months to come.

My creative juices flowed. And note the return of traditional material. Paint. The paintings though are a collaborative effort. The biggest paw marks are Lil's, the smallest Doll's and the most perfectly formed brush strokes are mine.

A little catnip before my catnap me thinks...

Ferdinand: Just too talented.

Ferdinand not thinking about yellow wallpaper.

I have a new box! It must be the plainest box on the planet, a puritan of a box. This calls for a spot of decorating.

I shall of course. In pride of place have Richard Madeley’s photograph in the silver antique frame. (I'm not putting it on Ebay I've decided, it’s just too valuable!) But my bacon rind is a must go Ebay item. Anyway I digress.

I need some wallpaper. This box is a blank canvas, which is the one and only good thing about this boring bland beige box. Now I have a tartan blanket a pink blanket or blue blanket. Not the tartan 'cos then I think the walls will have to be plain. Pink no. The man from auntie doesn't like pink so... Blue it is. Decisions! I am just so incisive. Dolly dithers. Females eh!

Wallpaper. Complimentary or tonal?. Complimentary. I like yellow. Sunshine. Summer. Warmth. So now where will I find yellow wallpaper. I'll just let my mind drift...

Not concentrate and let my brain solve the problem without me attending to it. This what creative types do and I'm a creative who types so it shouldn't be a problem.


I'll just let my mind empty of all thoughts of yellow wallpaper.

Creative type anagram= carpet I've yet (to have) private etc, ye (will not sleep in my box Dolly) and not concern myself with the box and a certain colour.


How do you stop thinking of yellow wallpaper when that's what you're trying not to think about?

I know I'll write an article in my journal. I'll write about my new box. Nothing that's going to cause consternation or upset any being. It'll be so boring my mind will wander on to solving the great wallpaper challenge. Stop me thinking about wallpaper and the shade there of.

I have a new box! It must be the plainest box...



Ferdinand: a creative who types!

Big Lil thinking outside the box whilst her head's inside!

Ferdinand has hunted a box of Kentucky fried chicken. He and Lil are partaking of the ill-gotten goods on the front room rug. Gross. I can hear them from here, lip smacking and it's not good!

"That's my bit. You have that bit. That's mine and that and that." That's big Lil.
"I captured it; I'd quite like to taste it. And I don't just want the herby coating.
Lil stop eating and get your paw off the box. That's the box you're eating there Lil." And that whine is Ferdinand.


"You'd think Dolly would appreciate this feast."
"What?"
"Dolly."
"Where?"
"Have you saved her any?"
"What."
"Saved Dolly any?"
"No. She can have the box."
"Good idea saves us cleaning up."
"What?"
"Saves us clearing up."
"Certainly does save on the washing up. A take away saves on washing up so it must be good for the environment. We, Ferd are saving the planet while we eat!"
"Interesting idea that Lil. You certainly know how to think outside the box."

"Burp."
"Oh excuse me."
"In some cultures that's considered polite."
"What?"
"It's considered polite to expel wind."
"Really?"
"Varrruhrrumpo."
"But not Lil, from that end!"


"Oh well that's me done, feasted and fattened. I'm going out for my constitutional. And a breathe of fresh air...

Ferdinand: With big Lil thinking outside the box whilst her head's inside!