Dolly is not wearing pyjamas.

Oooh, ooh ooh. We're back on. Back on the world wide web.

Hello.

And, And I have an Ebay account.
Well it's not mine exactly but it is on this computer and sometimes a human being (not mentioning any names) forgets to log out.

So I've made an inventory, taken stock of my worldly goods!

There's my:
Photograph of Richard Madeley.
Silver frame.
Pink blanket (comes with ginger hair).
A cardboard box with a picture of a strawberry on the side.
And a bacon rind with my teeth marks.

So number one will be listed under Art, Photographs, Contemporary.
2/ Antiques, Silver, Solid Silver, Frames
3/ Home and Garden, Bedding
4/ Umm a bit more difficult. Other perhaps? No I know! Art. It's got that picture of a strawberry on the side -a print- and it's an old box so... Art, Prints, Antique Prints, Botanical/Plants. Fantastic.
5/ This is even more difficult. Collectible? Food and Drink, Other? Well I'm not sure. My teeth marks...

"Ferdinand."
"My..."
"Ferd."
"My teeth..."
"Ferdinand."
"What?"
"Ferd."
"What?"
"Ferd, Ferd."
"What, what?"

"It's the beeb."
"What is?"
"The BBC."
"What is the BBC?"
"Ferdinand don't you read the comments section."
"Not since an American called me an...!"
"Well we're going to be interviewed."
"What?"
"Interviewed, beeb, going to be. So stop writing about chewed bacon rinds and write something sensible."

"I am very handsome."
"And factual."
"With ginger hair."
"Punchy."
"Punch you?"
"Not me, you."
"I won’t hit you, you girl you."
"Hard hitting."
I’m not going to hit you Doll, hard or soft."
"Give me strength."
"That's why Doll, you’re not as strong as me one blow from these paws and..."
"Ferdinand. Write. Write something. Write something factual and surprising."

Dolly is not wearing pyjamas.


Ferdinand's inventory: making every word count.