The cat's chorus

"Oi. Cat's chorus!"

Oh yes. Carol singers. And in fine voice we are too. Lil is wearing a scarf round her middle -but you can't see it in this video-she's still a bit threadbare.

"Oi! You lot...!
...that caterwauling...
...put a sock in it..."

"I'm putting my sock on the fireplace!" says Doll.

See he called us the cat's chorus, that's because we are so professional, we could sing in any choir and not just the chorus either!

"Ferdinand?"

"Yes Doll!"

"Is that a bucket in his hand?"

"Yes Doll."

"And has that bucket got water in it ?"

"I believe so!"

"Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun."

Ferdinand: 'Tis the season of good will too.'

(Mind you Will's always been a scrooge. Bah humbug!)

Ooh ooh oooooh!

Electra.

Electra.

Electra is dancing under a full moon sky.

Oooooooooh. Oooooh, Ooooooooooooooooooooooh......

Oooh, oooh, oooh, ooh.


Oooh

Oh.

Oooh!

Ferdinand: Luvs Electra.
Dolly: Oh for goodness sake! Bloomin' racket.

Ferdinand and the man from auntie

"Hello Ferd, what'd he think, the man from the beeb? What'd he say?
"He said it was the best blog he’s ever read..."
"Wow really?"
"What he say about me?"
"He loved the colour..."
"What'd he say about me Ferd?"
"Thought I was the most handsome ginger cat he'd ever met..."
"What'd he say about me Ferd?"
"Loved my style, my polka dot bow tie and my centre parting..."
"What'd he say about me Ferd?"
"Thought Lil's rendition of bohemian rhapsody was superb..."
"What'd he say about me Ferd?"
"...course he's an Oxford Graduate so we had a lot in common -a meeting of minds...!
"What'd he say about me Ferd?"
"And do you know what?"
"What Ferd? What?"
"He's even taken some of my advice -well passed some of criticisms on. Did you notice that rudimentary table on Sky News...?
"Yes Ferd."
"That was my advice."
"But you went to the beeb."
"Well the beeb is a huge corporation, changes take -like a liner changing course in an ocean- along time to implement. But I said I hated all that running about they do on the news, the very next day there's a little desk on the telly for the news human beings to plonk their scripts on. Can't be just coincidence..."
"Wow, influential we are or what?"
"Definitely influential..."
"What'd he say about me Ferd? What'd he say about me? Ferd?"
"Oh yes a cat of my caliber..."
"Ferd. What he say about me Ferd? What he say about me?"

"Who!"

"Don't slam the door..."

Craaaashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

"On the way out."


Ferdinand: There's just no pleasing some beings.

The polar bears are marooned and there are no more fish in the sea!

The icebergs are melting. Deserts are expanding and there are no more fish in the sea. Human beings are polluting the earth. And the biggest most handsome ginger cat (and (I’m big enough to admit it ) the noble tiger is going to do a dodo.

I think there are too many human beings on the planet. If one human being flew round the world a trillion times, left the telly on and always used tesco carrier bags ...

"Ferd."
"Streuth! What can I do for you oh striped one."
"I hope you're not writing anything controversial."
"Um!"
"Only you're banging the keys."
"I..."
"A sure sign you have a bee in you're bonnet"
"Well it did have a lot of flowers on."
"What?"
"My bonnet, me Easter bonnet with all the flowers on it!"

"Ferd. You've upset the Israelis alienated the Muslim beings, and changed every foreign speaker being's use of the English language, nobody Ferd, speaks or writes like you."
"I know I'm unique."
"It wasn't meant as a compliment."
"Well I was..."
"Anyway I'm the editor and we don't do controversy. A gossip column. A how to decorate your house..."

"I'm the proprietor and I write..."
"What are you writing ?"
"Nothing! Anyway there are three beings on this paper, Lil..."
"Lil?!"
"Yep. Lil the sleeping partner. We'll ask her opinion, she can have the casting vote."
"Lil's deaf."
"So!"


"LIL."
"LIL."

"What, what?"
"Lil do you believe my writing should be uncensored?"
"Yes Ferd."
"And do you further agree the only form of censorship is self censorship and I should be permitted to sometimes write about controversial subjects?"
"Yes to both Ferd."
"Ok Lil. Thank you Lil."
"There you go Doll, Lil has cast her vote and this as a democratic household...,
"Humph, still think fashion would gain more readership and be more interesting."

"Now were was I? The polar bears are marooned..."


Ferdinand: Environmentalist.