Ferdinand's diary. In no particular order...

I'll copy exerts from Ferdinand's jottings. Change the I to him, and me to Ferdinand – from first to third person. I think he would like that. Plus when it's all typed out he can edit it when— If he returns...
 Anyway, so I'll just jump in: Ferdinand's diary. In no particular order...

I have a cure for swine flu!

Oinkment!

Susan bought me a pressie. It's a mouse in leopard suit! It's full, and refillable, with my drug of choice, catnip! I've tried to pull off its turquoise tail. Who on earth imagined a mouse with spots and a blue tail – probably been snorting the old nepeta cataria themselves.
I’ve chewed its ears. It's still in tact though, as yet. I'll have another go at it later. I was dragging it through the cat-flap when Susan caught me and brought it back in. It doesn’t do anything for the decor.
Human beings eh! What can you do?
I'll show it to Lil later. She loves catnip. Lil loved catnip.

THE cat.

Susan called me THE cat.
She normally calls me, “No Dolly.”
Or, “DOLLY!”
Sometimes, “DOLLY don’t.”
Or simply, “OI!”